Judge Me Now

She haunts me.

In dreams
In social medias
-In the likes
-The hearts
-The comments
In taking photos of myself
In movies
In anything that requires strength
In admiring the scenery around me
In combat sports
In swimming
In loving the animals
In loving my pets
In loving my parents
In associating with friends
In becoming a ‘cool chic’
In finding a job
In having the things that i desire
In food trips
In coffee
In travelling

She is EVERYWHERE that i look and imagine
She is there when i close my eyes and when i open it

She makes me open my instagram daily and search for her
Make me look at her photos and its likers
In everything that she’s associated with, a word about those make me cringe
She makes me desire of things i know in the first place i don’t need and want but i now do to become as she is.
She makes me question everything but left me guessing
She makes me remember the guilt i’m feeling towards my old self.

She is as equal as me. Woman.
But i adore and hate her harmoniously more than i do for myself.

To Us, Women

Before, women were never referred to, never acknowledged, never given the opportunities to hone their selves in the way they wanted to be; they were hidden from the wisdom and liberty of the society. It took interval years for specific women to stand up and be known to the world who almost forgot what woman means.

Just then women after women showed that it doesn’t have to take years to stand up and fight for the women’s right to be educated, to vote, to speak and to take part in the events of the society they’re in. To be inspired by timely-strong women was not enough that even as young as Anne Frank captivated many women and men alike.

And so is the modern-day women — dressed confidently, armed with knowledge and graced with skills that are supposed to be for men only. The once then taboos are hardly traced by how women of today act and engage in different lifestyle. It’s not new to us seeing women who go to offices, who rarely stay in the house and take care of the chores almost the entire day, who do businesses or even do (as what I’ve mentioned awhile ago) what should’ve been “for manly work” only.

Time passed, ‘lo and behold, we entered an era of “empowered women”, but we forgot the beauty of grace and fragility of us. I have nothing against women being strong and empowered because I, myself stands to my ground as not being weak and I do chase my dreams as I could and do some things like men do simply because I could and there’s no limit to that now. But over time, women now adays become obsessed with the idea of being so strong that rushing waves could not overwhelm them. We forget that the beauty of pain, the beauty of weakness, the beauty of shedding tears, the beauty of having grace to easily put forth compassion, forgiveness and mercy. We women are blessed to have such attributes that comes out naturally among us but we fear that it would mean defeat in this “only the fittest will survive”-world. We were too busy empowerimg ourselves that we forget that what really empowers us and sets us apart from men is our fragility. The have the luxury of strength but we have the luxury of compassion.

I once heard that the grace and calmness of the women symbolizes the other facet of God. Meaning, God does not also punish and brings out justice but He’s also forgiving, kind-hearted, loving, meek, slow to anger, gracious. He even shed tears when His friend, Lazarus, died. We represent the full half of God’s mellow character. Thinking of that is beautiful, right? Don’t we feel more empowered that we were made that way, not weak but soft-hearted?

This is just a reminder that yes, we can do great things like men do and yes, we can outdo ourselves by going out of our boxes but we have to stay reminded how we were created: gracious and calm, a beautiful representation of God.

Happy Women’s Month! 😀


A Word from a Laundry

Yesterday, my mom and I went to a laundry shop in the city. We then folded the clothes after we let it dry in a drying machine, which is basically still hot and fragrant. While we were still on the process of folding the clothes, my mom then told me, “Its fragrance loses when it gets cold.” Suddenly, a Word (rhema) came to me; “as we go on along with our journey with God and there would come a time wherein we get cold in serving Him, we lose our fragrance of anointing and glory from God.”

Whenever we linger far from Him and we harden our hearts in meditating His Word or even worshiping Him, the anointing or the glory we receive from Him does not become evident in our lives anymore. Like in the song, “praise looks good on you,” we are clothes in beauty and fragrance when we praise Him, when we glorify Him, when we continue to be on fire for Him.

So let us not grow weary, let’s not allow coldness to creep into our hearts and spirit so that when we come before God, we could be a fragrant sacrifice upon Him.




Cutting with Joy

untitled2I would love to start my first post about having a new and first ever accomplishment with myself wherein others say ‘a negative action’, cutting one’s hair. 🙂

Someone told me that when someone cuts his/her hair, that person is depressed or has a troubled heart or mind. I also notice that when people saw my new look, they keep on asking why I got a haircut; questions like, “are you hurting?”, “what gave you the courage to do so?”, “are you okay, anything wrong?” With these questions, it only proves that doing such action signifies a negative remark on others.

When I decided to cut my hair, it was actually because of proving my loved one how much I love him to the point of cutting my hair to signify a new commitment to him. For me, it is a way of letting go of everything that holds me from loving him fully. I have never loved my hair because of how others criticize my curly and stubborn hair. My loved one would keep on telling me how he loves my hair so much.

I would admit that I am at my lowest point when I went to the parlor to have my hair cut, but I am also happy deep within, having the courage to go beyond my comfort zone and do something new with myself. The moment it was fully cut, I saw a lady beaming back at me in the mirror. I am so amazed by how confidently beautiful I am with this new look!

It was really a cut with joy; a feeling of accomplishment and newness not a cut of depression and a troubled mind.
I would want to stress that we don’t have to feel down to step out and do the things that we desire. Too much hate is revolving that it takes us to remind them that things that we do with passion, love and determination is beautiful. Always Beautiful!