Maybe I’ll cease.

Time will come when i will.

Not until you answer me,

Not until you talk,

Not until you express,

Not until you heal,

Not until you smile again,

Not until you look at me straight in the eyes again,

Not until you pull me close again,

Not until we go back to where we’ve been,

And not until you show me the man whom you used to serenade me.

I love you in these times, yes.

Even in your weakness, even in our storm.

But i cannot tolerate the beast to continually beat inside us

Yan tayo eh. Mahal natin masyado

Nakakalimot agad kung sino tayo

Mahal ka nga pero naging kasing tanga ka ba niya?

Nagiging ikaw ba ang lahat sa kanya ng naging lahat sya sayo?

Binigyan ka ng utak, gamitin ate,

Libre eh, di yan mahal

Ikaw lang meron niyan sa kanya, pagmamahal

Di ka bobo alam mo yan

Ginusto mo para naman mapasok sa isip niya, nag.iisa ka lang, diba?

Nag.iisa ka nga lang talaga, nag.iisang nagpapakatanga sa taong ayaw na

Sinusuka ka na ng kanyang ganang nuon pay ubos na

Respeto nalang meron, pero kahit konting pag.mamahal para sayo ayaw na niya.

Nagtan.aw tag kita kita

Pero akong gugma ba, imo pang gakakita?
Gikilig ko naghuna2
Kita gauban pero nalipay pud ba ka gahandom sa hitaboa?
Ang salida dili ko gusto mag.end
Kay di ko gusto mubuhi na ka sa atong holding hends (hands)
inamigo nga pag.uban kanimo siguro
Pero para sa ako dako na nga kalipay sa kasingkasing nga gadogodog

I am sorry for my frail little heart

Growing up, everyone expects me to be strong

Picking up my sword and be a lightning that strikes on anyone who trumps me down

But ever since, i know i am not made for strength

My heart has always been made to sympathize, to feel, to beat calmly, to be a rain

But still i think it’s not actually weak

It is strong in its own way by overcoming pain and hurts

By going over fighting and resistance

It is strong by shedding a light of hope and love

I never met him in the grandest way

Where they say love finds you in slow-motions, flowers blooming and loud heartbeats

His love found its way in me through a cycle of bargains, through a music in a box, through a hanky stuck in his head💕

The Waiting

I’m staring at the phone like it’s a tardis i want to get through and into you

I’m waiting for you like a soldier waiting for the enemy’s attack, heart throbbing but adrenaline defining

And as i do these things, i never thought time could be this slow:

Slower than waiting for your boring teacher to dismiss the class

Slower than a long ride to your far hometown

But even though, i will wait

I will stare even more

For victory lies in the hands of a hoping and vigilant heart.

I want to find comfort in the songs but every line cuts

I want to find comfort in the poems but it portrays what i am or what we are not, probably what i or we hope for

I want to find assurance in their advices but all they could say too is stop the crap when i actually want to find a little glimpse of hope that things will go well between us

I can’t find anything more, even just a speck of dust for me to keep going with you, although i wish and pray for it

The earth has forbidden me when i thought from the start they are for us, even the moon that we loved

I cry in peace and surrender

To Us, Women

Before, women were never referred to, never acknowledged, never given the opportunities to hone their selves in the way they wanted to be; they were hidden from the wisdom and liberty of the society. It took interval years for specific women to stand up and be known to the world who almost forgot what woman means.

Just then women after women showed that it doesn’t have to take years to stand up and fight for the women’s right to be educated, to vote, to speak and to take part in the events of the society they’re in. To be inspired by timely-strong women was not enough that even as young as Anne Frank captivated many women and men alike.

And so is the modern-day women — dressed confidently, armed with knowledge and graced with skills that are supposed to be for men only. The once then taboos are hardly traced by how women of today act and engage in different lifestyle. It’s not new to us seeing women who go to offices, who rarely stay in the house and take care of the chores almost the entire day, who do businesses or even do (as what I’ve mentioned awhile ago) what should’ve been “for manly work” only.

Time passed, ‘lo and behold, we entered an era of “empowered women”, but we forgot the beauty of grace and fragility of us. I have nothing against women being strong and empowered because I, myself stands to my ground as not being weak and I do chase my dreams as I could and do some things like men do simply because I could and there’s no limit to that now. But over time, women now adays become obsessed with the idea of being so strong that rushing waves could not overwhelm them. We forget that the beauty of pain, the beauty of weakness, the beauty of shedding tears, the beauty of having grace to easily put forth compassion, forgiveness and mercy. We women are blessed to have such attributes that comes out naturally among us but we fear that it would mean defeat in this “only the fittest will survive”-world. We were too busy empowerimg ourselves that we forget that what really empowers us and sets us apart from men is our fragility. The have the luxury of strength but we have the luxury of compassion.

I once heard that the grace and calmness of the women symbolizes the other facet of God. Meaning, God does not also punish and brings out justice but He’s also forgiving, kind-hearted, loving, meek, slow to anger, gracious. He even shed tears when His friend, Lazarus, died. We represent the full half of God’s mellow character. Thinking of that is beautiful, right? Don’t we feel more empowered that we were made that way, not weak but soft-hearted?

This is just a reminder that yes, we can do great things like men do and yes, we can outdo ourselves by going out of our boxes but we have to stay reminded how we were created: gracious and calm, a beautiful representation of God.

Happy Women’s Month! 😀

-G.

A Word from a Laundry

Yesterday, my mom and I went to a laundry shop in the city. We then folded the clothes after we let it dry in a drying machine, which is basically still hot and fragrant. While we were still on the process of folding the clothes, my mom then told me, “Its fragrance loses when it gets cold.” Suddenly, a Word (rhema) came to me; “as we go on along with our journey with God and there would come a time wherein we get cold in serving Him, we lose our fragrance of anointing and glory from God.”

Whenever we linger far from Him and we harden our hearts in meditating His Word or even worshiping Him, the anointing or the glory we receive from Him does not become evident in our lives anymore. Like in the song, “praise looks good on you,” we are clothes in beauty and fragrance when we praise Him, when we glorify Him, when we continue to be on fire for Him.

So let us not grow weary, let’s not allow coldness to creep into our hearts and spirit so that when we come before God, we could be a fragrant sacrifice upon Him.

 

Always,

G.

Cutting with Joy

untitled2I would love to start my first post about having a new and first ever accomplishment with myself wherein others say ‘a negative action’, cutting one’s hair. 🙂

Someone told me that when someone cuts his/her hair, that person is depressed or has a troubled heart or mind. I also notice that when people saw my new look, they keep on asking why I got a haircut; questions like, “are you hurting?”, “what gave you the courage to do so?”, “are you okay, anything wrong?” With these questions, it only proves that doing such action signifies a negative remark on others.

When I decided to cut my hair, it was actually because of proving my loved one how much I love him to the point of cutting my hair to signify a new commitment to him. For me, it is a way of letting go of everything that holds me from loving him fully. I have never loved my hair because of how others criticize my curly and stubborn hair. My loved one would keep on telling me how he loves my hair so much.

I would admit that I am at my lowest point when I went to the parlor to have my hair cut, but I am also happy deep within, having the courage to go beyond my comfort zone and do something new with myself. The moment it was fully cut, I saw a lady beaming back at me in the mirror. I am so amazed by how confidently beautiful I am with this new look!

It was really a cut with joy; a feeling of accomplishment and newness not a cut of depression and a troubled mind.
I would want to stress that we don’t have to feel down to step out and do the things that we desire. Too much hate is revolving that it takes us to remind them that things that we do with passion, love and determination is beautiful. Always Beautiful!

Always,
G.